Hypermesis Gravadarium

Yeah it’s, a big word. How ’bout we call it HG for the rest of this post?

As much as it pains me to say it, I am convinced Joanna is an HG sufferer. I was doing my usual future-dad homework when I came across the HER Foundation, an organization that “provides education & support for mothers suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum and those who care for them.” Nice website. Nice folks.

Anyway, their “Is this HG?” page provided me with a lot of information about plain old vanilla morning sickness and the evil monster that is HG. Among this information is a comparison chart which I will lovingly recreate below:

Morning Sickness Hyperemesis Gravidarum
You lose little if any weight. You lose 5-20 pounds or more. (> 5% of prepregnancy weight)
Nausea and vomiting do not interfere with your ability to eat or drink enough each day. Nausea and vomiting cause you to eat very little and get dehydrated from vomiting if not treated.
You vomit infrequently and the nausea is episodic but not severe. It may cause discomfort and misery. You vomit often and may vomit bile or blood if not treated. Nausea is usually moderate to severe and constant.
Dietary and/or lifestyle changes are enough to help you feel better most of the time. You will probably require fluid hydration through a vein and/or medications to stop the vomiting.
You typically will improve gradually after the first trimester, but may be a little queasy at times during the remainder of your pregnancy. You usually feel somewhat better by mid-pregnancy, but you may continue to be nauseous and/or vomit until late pregnancy.
You will be able to work most days and care for your family. You will likely be unable to work for weeks or months, and may need help caring for yourself.

Many of Joanna’s experiences over the last 8 weeks line up with the right column. So many, in fact that I can’t help but believe she’s in for a long pregnancy playing Bosom Buddies with HG - her Muffy to HG’s only-slightly-less-nauseating-than-Peter-Scolari’s Hildegarde. And here I am playing the part of Amy, the only person in the room that knows their secret (okay I’m done with this really really bad analogy).

Zee won’t live this down, that’s for sure. I can just hear Joanna:
“Do you have any idea what I went through to bring you into this world?”

This entry was posted on Friday, November 17th, 2006 at 7:20 pm and is filed under The unexpected. You can follow responses to this entry from the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “Hypermesis Gravadarium”

  1. Jason
    11/20/06

    As Comic Book Guy would say “Worst. Analogy. EVER!” heh

    Hope it doesn’t come to being HG, or at least not full on like that column on the right.

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