NewPlew

A friend of mine (who will remain nameless for the time being) just broke the news to me that he’s going to be a father. This just two weeks after our big announcement about Zee.

My wife would like to attribute it to “something in the water” but I know what it really is - competition. When I mentioned to the guy that we were ahead by at least 3 weeks he threatened to “go premature” on our ass. What a cheater!

This on top of finding out another family member has a little one on the way (albeit unexpectedly but hey - a gift is a gift). That makes three babies in the hopper. I’ve always felt that every significant thing happens in threes (I’m not alone in this as Google points out) - three deaths, three births, three disasters. I’m sure my perception is skewing reality a bit here, but you get the idea. Now if only 2 people connected to me would hit the lottery…

From newscientist.com via digg:

Fathers: watch what you say. It seems dads may have more of an influence on their children’s language development than they might think.

Lynne Vernon-Feagans at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, and her colleagues sat in on playtime with 92 families with dual incomes, observing how much each parent spoke to their child, the words and sentence structures they used, and the types of questions they asked.

Children whose father’s vocabulary was more varied when they were 2 years old had more advanced language skills at age 3. Surprisingly, the dads spoke less and asked fewer questions than the mothers, suggesting it was not how much they spoke but what they said and how they said it that resonated with their children.

I must hone my linguistic skills now so I may wield multisyllabic words as a defensive instrument against verbal monotony upon Zee’s arrival. The very fate of this child’s entry into gifted & talented classes may rest upon my choice of words.

Gosh, I sure do hope I learn to talk real good before Zee shows up. Ain’t no tellin’ what the kid will be like if I don’t speak no good!

WOW - I’ve never tried to use my in-laws’ version of the english language before. Its really quite disturbing. Thank god for college, mom, and a healthy appetite for 3-2-1 Contact as a child; I could’ve been using that Appalachian vernacular on a daily basis!

I can only imagine what my kid’s linguistic skills will be like:
Joanna: “What’s the matter honey, you don’t feel good?”
myKid: “No mom - I feel good. There is nothing wrong with my motor skills. However, I don’t feel well.”
Joanna: “You’ve been watching reruns of 3-2-1 Contact with your father again, haven’t you?”

There are some good times ahead.

I thought the whole “morning sickness” thing was pretty self-explanatory - pregnancy makes Jo feel sick in the morning. ‘Nuff said, right? Well, not exactly. Seems like a 24/7 sickness to me except without the ralphing. Constant fatigue coupled with lots of discomfort. Sounds like fun!

For a while there, it seemed like Jo would be one of the lucky few to navigate the dangerous waters of trimester #1 without morning sickness. The first 10 days or so were very peaceful - only a little insomnia to contend with. Unfortunately, no one was there to shout “iceberg right ahead!” as a warning of the impending gloom of what can only be described as feeling really shitty all the time.

What is a father-to-be to do? I mean, besides taking a page from our last good President (”I feel your pain”) in a futile attempt to comfort the restless lady carrying your offspring. The best I can come up with is to treat her like I’d want to be treated (minus the sex and beer of course). I’m tackling the daily tasks Jo normally handles along with my own, giving her space, and trying to stay away from saying “how ya feelin’?” every 2 minutes.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch apartment, the guys with the white-trashasakis have been at it again, running around the complex at midnight with their really loud engines and really tiny brains. Ugh, crash into a wall already.